Each person’s journey to faith is unique. God uses all kinds of experiences, opportunities, and people to grow and mature His kids! It’s a funny story how I came to the Lord. I saw the Beatles in concert when I was 9, accepted Christ at a Beach Boys concert sometime later, my wife’s and my first date was a Led Zeppelin concert—and now I speak at Bill Gaither events. What a ride!
While I was the Oklahoma Bible Quiz champ in 1969, that was not the end of the story. As I got older, God used different people and opportunities to grow me. Not just through Scripture memory, quiet times, mission trips, or a week at church camp—though those were all important. He who “began a good work” in my youth never stopped shaping my faith. But He did that “work” in different ways as I grew and matured. He used people not only to teach me, but to show me what it really means to live out my faith—which, deep down, is what I was desperate for.
More than anything else, your teen needs an example of what it looks like to live out a godly life. Trust me, even when it doesn’t look like it, God is working in your teen’s life. In this article, I’ll help parents better understand the natural path that teens are taking and share some practical steps to guide your teen closer to the cross.
Be the Person You’ve Been Teaching Your Teen About
As parents, our instinct is to provide immediate answers to our teen’s spiritual questions. However, in the teen years, your role needs to change from teacher to guide. You can lead your teen best by being an authentic example of faith in action as you live out the principles you’ve taught. Remember that your teens are watching you closely to see if your actions match your words. Simply put, faith at this stage is “more caught than taught.” Your example is the most influential part you can play in leading your teen closer to the cross.
This is a perfect time for parents to switch from a “teaching mode” into a “training mode”––where you allow teens to ask questions and challenge ideas you hold dear. Parents should encourage this process and start asking teens questions, rather than giving them all the answers. Embrace the process and don’t feel pressured to “fix” their questioning in a single conversation. Spiritual formation happens over time, not in a single moment.
It’s Okay for Teen’s to Question Their Faith
As teens transition from concrete to abstract thinking, they naturally begin questioning some of the beliefs they’ve held onto since early childhood. They’ll begin to question what they believe, challenge the thought behind it, and wonder about things they’ve never thought about before. This isn’t cause for alarm—it’s an opportunity for growth. The teenage years mark a critical shift when faith becomes less about Scripture memorization and attending Sunday School, and more about how to make sense of God’s Word in daily life.
This natural questioning phase represents your teen’s attempt to internalize everything they’ve learned. It’s not rebellion; it’s a normal process of making faith personal and meaningful. Philippians 1:6 reminds us, “He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion.” This promise extends to your teen’s spiritual journey as well. Don’t feel like you have to “fix” their faith. Let them wonder and contemplate all they have learned. Let them come to conclusions without forcing them to come to your conclusions. Yes, it will be uncomfortable at time, but it is a necessary process to bring your teen to the place of accepting their faith as their own.
Talk to Your Teen About Faith
First and foremost, your teen needs to know they can bring their toughest questions to you without fear of judgment or dismissal. Make your relationship a place where there are no “bad” ideas, no “bad” thoughts, nothing that can’t be said, and no question that can’t be asked. That doesn’t mean you have to have all the answers. But do your best to help them find the answers they are searching for. Make it clear that doubts are not a sign of spiritual failure, but stepping stones to deeper faith. When your teen raises difficult questions, resist the urge to lecture. Instead, ask thoughtful follow-up questions that help teens to process their own thoughts. Respond with statements that encourage deeper thoughts, such as: “Tell me more about that.”
Set aside regular times to get together and initiate these discussions. Show them that this matters to you by making yourself available and approachable anytime your teen wants to come to you to engage in deeper spiritual discussions. Drop everything to have a discussion when your teen wants to talk. Listen more, speak less, and respond without inserting your opinion. Express a desire to know your teen’s heart.
As you meet together, be patient with the process of spiritual growth and stay committed to your relationship with your teen. The spiritual journey is rarely a straight line. Just as my own path wove through rock concerts and Bible competitions, your teen’s journey will have its unique twists and turns. Your role isn’t to dictate the path but to walk alongside them, providing wisdom, support, and most importantly, a living example of faith in action.
Conclusion
Isn’t everyone’s walk with the Lord just a little different? Of course it is. Not everyone grows in faith the same way. There comes a time—especially in the life of a teenager—when they begin to question what they’ve been taught. It’s part of owning their faith. They start to wrestle with what they believe, formulating their theology, integrating truth into the reality of the world around them. That’s when faith begins to move from something taught to something lived.
The teen years are the perfect time to question, share doubts, express different opinions, and discuss topics where they’re not in agreement with you. It may feel uncomfortable, but this is the time to “train up your child” in an atmosphere that allows them to question and accurately assess how they will handle the word of God that’s been instilled in their life, helping them formulate their own faith. It’s perfect because you are present. Here’s the catch: You’ve got to make yourself available in their lives––not to just have spiritual discussions, but to let your teens know they are valuable enough to you that no disagreement will hurt the relationship you have with them.
