Young people today are looking for hope, wisdom, and authentic relationships beyond the boundaries of their home, school, and social media “friends.” If you’re a grandparent, you’re in a unique position to offer the things teens are searching for, but can’t seem to find in this culture. In this article, I’ll share 10 unique giftings and roles grandparents can play in the lives of their teenaged grandchildren.
10 Things Grandparents Have and Teens Need
You’re not done living yet. Your family needs you, and your grandkids need you––even when they seem interested. Teens today are growing up in a culture that’s always in a rush, they lack wisdom, relationships, and hope. But grandparents have what teens desperately need.
1. Grandparents Have Wisdom
Your grandchildren are searching for wisdom every time they pick up their phone and scroll through social media, but they’re not finding it. YOU have the wisdom that only comes from a life of experience, observation, and reflection. They aren’t looking for another opinion, but they do want to hear your perspective and your stories that share wisdom.
2. Grandparents Offer Relationship
You can model what it looks like to have authentic and enduring relationships in a world that is shallow and obsessed with appearance. While your love doesn’t change, the way you connect with your grandkids needs to change as they get older. Don’t treat them the same way you treated them when they were cute and little. Allow your relationship to mature with them and stay connected, not just for a season, but for a lifetime.
3. Grandparents Give Hope
Grandparents have been through a lot. They know what it is to endure and find hope in the process, and that can be a lifeline to teens who are struggling. You can share real hope with your grandkids that things can change and get better, even when the world looks really dark.
4. Grandparents Lighten Things Up!
Most teens are graded at school, judged by their peers, and nagged by their parents. So, laugh a little and lighten things up with your grandkids. Make your relationship and your home a place of rest and relaxation, where they can be silly, and feel loved and accepted just the way they are.
5. Grandparents Are An Example to Follow
Your grandkids are watching how you respond to things, whether you know it or not. How do you treat their mom and dad? Are you forgiving or do you hold grudges? How does the faith you talk about make a difference in the way you treat others? Yep, your grandkids are watching to see if you really mean what you say!
6. Grandparents Are NOT Another Set of Parents
Your grandkids do not need another set of parents. They need someone trustworthy, who is not Mom or Dad. When your grandkids talk to you, you should be supportive of their parents, but do not get in the middle or try to “be the peacemaker.” That’s not your role, and if you try to butt in, your grandkids may cut you out.
7. Grandparents Have Time
Mom and Dad are busy. They don’t always have time to listen to teens, but you do. Give your time to your grandkids. Be available when they want to talk. If you’re not sure how to get the conversation going, plan a fun experience together. Invite them out for a meal, take them to a concert—whatever. Spend time making memories, while you still have yours.
8. Grandparents Can Listen
Remain a trusted confidant by being available to listen when your grandkids need someone to talk to. Ask good questions. Let your grandkids teach you things they’re excited about. It’s okay that your grandkid has different interests and ideas than you do. After all, don’t you think differently now, then you did when you were a teen? I hope so! Allow your grandkids to talk freely, no matter how crazy their ideas are, without correcting or criticizing them. Someday they may ask for your perspective. Then, and only then, you will have their attention.
9. Grandparents Tell Stories
Teens don’t want to hear your opinions about politics, but they do want to hear your stories about your life and about their parents. What was your life like when you were a teen? How did you meet your spouse? What was your first job? Teens can find opinions everywhere, but you have unique stories they can only get from you!
10. Grandparents Encourage
Be patient and compassionate. Watch for growth in your grandkids and encourage them in it. Be grateful for the time you have with them and tell them how much you love spending time together. They may not remember everything you say, but they will remember how they felt when you were with them.
Conclusion
You play a very important role in the life of your family. You’re the matriarch and patriarch––the example of a godly life lived in front of your children and your children’s children. God has placed you in this high position—embrace your God-given role. Now is not the time to sail off into the sunset to play shuffleboard for the rest of your life. Instead, you have the opportunity to play a vital and unique role in offering wisdom and encouragement to your grandchildren––something teens are lacking in today’s culture. My encouragement to you this: provide a place of rest for your grandchildren. Spend more time sharing your stories and your perspective, rather than your opinions. Listen more than you talk. Go and make some memories with your grandkids, before you lose yours. Find creative ways to build confidence and instill hope in the next generation by sharing your life and using more than just your words.
Your grandkids need you––not just when they are cute, cuddly and full of smiles, but especially during the most difficult of their years. It’s later than you think. Take advantage of the time you have left to connect with your grandkids. They’ll be better off for it!
