Grandparents hold a special place in the family. They offer teens the chance to connect with a generation unlike anyone else in their lives. After all, grandparents provide a unique, personal link to the family’s history—something teens can’t get anywhere else. They have lived through the times that grandkids now call the “past,” giving them distinct life experiences. Moreover, their lives often contrast with the fast-paced, high-pressure environment at home. Grandparents, no longer burdened by the daily responsibilities of raising children, are typically less distracted and preoccupied. In this sense, they have an advantage! In this article, I’ll explore the vital role grandparents play in their grandchildren’s lives and share strategies for strengthening your influence while fostering a deeper connection with your teenage grandkids.
What’s the Grandparents’ Advantage?
It’s easy to look at teens and grandparents and see their obvious differences. They look, act, dress, and talk differently. But grandparents, have an advantage––even over moms and dads––when it comes to engaging with teens. Here are just a few reasons.
1. You are an outside voice. Teens hear from Mom and Dad all the time. It’s easy to tune out their familiar voices. But you are NOT your grandkids’ parent. Your voice is different and sometimes that’s a bonus that helps teens to pay attention and listen more closely to what you have to say. So when you speak, don’t talk like a parent––correcting and teaching your grandkids. Instead chose words that affirm your grandchildren and support their parents, while upholding their rules and expectations. If you do, your grandchildren will want to hear your fresh perspective.
2. You have wisdom and your grandkids want it. These days, thanks to technology, it’s easy to find lots of information––perhaps too much! But information is not the same as wisdom. It can be difficult for teens today to understand context and truth. Thankfully, your years of experience have earned you a wealth of wisdom and insight that allows you to see the bigger picture and consider the faults, struggles, genetics, history, tradition, and difficulties within your family. In my experience, most grandkids are eager to get the “real” story about your life and their family history.
3. You are an example to follow. Teens today may “like” and “follow” countless online influencers but remember: your grandkids are watching you too! They observe how you interact with your children (their parents) and the people around you. They’re paying attention to whether your actions align with your beliefs. How do you treat the people you love? How do you handle conflict? Your example can have a lasting impact by showing them how you live out your faith in real life—how you apply the wisdom you share with them, in both good times and bad.
4. You can encourage reflection. Reflection––looking back and thinking through what has occurred––is an important part of maturity. Encouraging reflection is a way of engaging your grandchildren and showing them how to take responsibility for their lives in a way that moves them towards emotional and spiritual maturity, by thinking things over. To help your grandchild reflect, you might leave them with a question from time to time, instead of giving them all the answers. It can happen when a grandchild considers what you said or what they saw in your actions. As you talk to them and listen them talk, encourage them to think through their ideas by asking questions that provoke deeper thoughts.
5. Grandparents can impart wisdom through experiences with their grandkids. Don’t wait for your grandkids to pick up the phone and call you. Rather, you should line up special experiences, conversations, and opportunities to interact with them. It may look like showing up to their events, taking them out for a meal, and simply spending time together. Trust me, they don’t need more stuff––that stuff gets old, broken, and outdated. Instead make yourself available to be a listening ear and create an environment that lets your grandkids know that they are loved. As you spend time experiencing life together, your grandkids can discover your wisdom, insight, and understanding.
Encouragement for Grandparent
In order to build a relationship with your grandkids and to share your wisdom, it’s imperative that you spend time together. Take time to listen to them and encourage them to think deeply. You may not always see things eye to eye. So, choose your words wisely––not everything needs to be argued. What your teenaged grandkids need most of all is a place where they are accepted and welcomed. So, make your home, and your presence, a haven. Laugh often, tell your stories, and encourage your grandkids to tell their stories too. Just by being available and listening, you are offering something every grandkid needs and wants––something the culture and social media are lacking. Grandparents, you have an advantage!
Conclusion
You hold a special place in the lives of your grandchildren, and they hold a special place in your heart as well. The challenge, however, is staying connected as they grow up, expand their social circles, and fill their schedules with school, sports, and activities. If you can maintain that special bond during their teen years, your influence can have a profound impact on their future.
But it’s going to take intentional effort. You’ll need to engage with them in ways they appreciate, welcome them into your home, create a space where they can find rest, and share the Gospel through your actions more than words. Your role isn’t to correct, but to connect. Let your words encourage and affirm them as beloved members of the family.
Above all, be a great listener. Teens want to be heard, and you have the chance to be their confidant and greatest cheerleader. Your grandkids need you. They need your wisdom, your love, your actions, and your encouragement. You have a unique advantage here, so take heart and share it with them.
