Everyone needs to feel welcomed, heard, accepted, and loved—especially teens. They were created for relationships, and when those needs aren’t being met at home, they’ll often look for connection elsewhere. Whether it’s outside the home or online, teens can easily find themselves seeking validation in ways that lead to trouble. In this article, I’ll share six ways you can meet your teen where they are, create meaningful moments together, and build a relationship that lasts a lifetime.
1. Understand the World They’re Living In
The culture today is not like the world you and I grew up in, and many times, I’ve said that I wouldn’t want to be a teen today. But your teens don’t have a choice. This is the world they live in. So, stop expecting them to look and act in the same way you did when you were a teen. The better you understand their world, the more likely you will be able to recognize where they are lacking and what they need. Here are some of the basics. Their world is appearance-based. They live in a culture of negativity. They hear tons of information but little wisdom. They live in a world that doesn’t listen to them. The good news is that you can step into their world, meet them where they are, understand what’s lacking, and help them get what they need in order to grow and mature.
2. Have Compassion
It’s hard to be a teen in today’s world. They hear negative messages all day long at school, on social media with their peers, and then they come home to your house, where they may hear even more ways that they’re not measuring up! Understanding the challenges of their world doesn’t mean that you can’t have high expectations for your teens, but it does mean that you should have compassion for your teens as they struggle through this difficult time.
Be intentional with your words and choose them wisely. Don’t pile on with the rest! Instead, speak words that affirm and encourage your teen. After a tough day, allow your teen to relax and unwind at home—instead of requiring them to “keep it together” all the time. Make your home and your relationship a place where your teen can share openly, feel accepted, and take a break from the pressures of their crazy culture.
3. Work on Your Listening Skills
You can learn a lot about where your teen is at simply by listening to them. Teens long to feel heard and loved, and listening is one of the simplest and most effective ways to communicate acceptance. When your teen is ready to open up, avoid interrupting them with too many questions that might make them feel like they’re being interrogated. Instead, encourage them to keep sharing by saying something like, “Tell me more about that.” You can also ask them to explain something they enjoy—like a game or activity—and then stop what you’re doing, put down your phone, get comfortable, and really listen.
4. Offer Hope
Your teen is being bombarded with negative messages all day—social media posts about discouraging trends, doomsday predictions, and divisive rhetoric that can leave them feeling hopeless. The world around them often seems to offer little hope. But in the midst of this, your teen needs you to offer a different perspective—one filled with hope. As a parent, you have a long-term perspective that your teen desperately needs. You’ve lived long enough to understand that things can get better, people can change, and circumstances don’t stay the same forever. It’s important to share that hope with your teen! One of the most valuable ways to do this is by sharing your personal stories of faith and how God has sustained you and your family over the years. These stories bring your faith to life, showing your teen the source of your hope and helping them see that, even in difficult times, there is always a way forward.
5. Offer Wisdom and Perspective Through Your Own Experiences
One of the best things you can do for your teen is to share your personal stories. Grandparents are especially well-equipped for this important task. Teens love hearing stories from their grandparents—about the past, about their parents, and about the tough times they’ve faced and how they overcame them. Take time to sit down with your teen and share stories from your own life, especially the lessons you’ve learned through your mistakes. Your experience and wisdom are invaluable, as your teen is navigating their own struggles and seeking perspective. As they listen to your stories, your teen will gain not only wisdom but also a valuable outlook on life that helps safeguard them against negativity and gives them hope for the future.
6. Make Yourself Available
I know you’re busy managing the household and making sure your teen has everything they need. But what they truly need most is time with you. Your teen will be grown and out of the house before you know it, so give them your time now. Create a space where any conversation is safe. Don’t make any topic off-limits. Be a steady, reliable source of strength and support for your teen. Regular, meaningful time together is the key to building a strong, lasting relationship.
Conclusion
As your teen gets older, keeping the lines of communication open becomes more challenging. This is especially true for grandparents. As your teen’s social circles grow and they dive into new experiences, it’s easy to feel like you’re being pushed out or replaced by someone or something else. They’re becoming more distracted, exploring new areas of life, and if you’re not intentional about maintaining your relationship with them, it could soon become a distant memory—fading away in the rearview mirror as they drive forward on their journey.
So, be intentional now. Visit them where they are. Take time from your schedule to be present with your teen, and even invest some money to create shared experiences. Make memories together before time slips away and they forget the good times you’ve shared. Let them know that you still want to be a part of their life, and that you’re there for them, no matter how fast they grow.