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5 Things to Know About Your Teen’s Academic Performance

Every parent wants their teen to excel in school. But not every teen can get straight A’s! Parents need to set realistic, individual academic goals for their teens. Success doesn’t always mean bringing home a perfect report card. In this article, I’ll share five things parents need to know about academic performance and some helpful ways to help teens do well in school.

 

1. It’s normal for teens to lack motivation sometimes. Let’s face it, we all lack motivation from time to time. Teens are no different. Your teen is learning a lot about the world and developing new skills. At the same time, teens also need to build healthy relationships and navigate the social hierarchy at school and online. Today’s teens are faced with a balancing act every day. Every day is a performance. Not just in the classroom, but in the hallways, too. As teens become more connected socially, they tend to become disconnected academically. Parents might get anxious about a teen who lacks motivation, but try giving encouragement and grace instead.

 

2. It’s normal for parents to want high grades from teens. You know your teen needs to build self-discipline and be a hard worker in order to go far in life, and you know good grades can help them get a head start. But that doesn’t mean you should demand a 4.0 GPA. I’m not asking you to ignore a teen who is failing, but remember to prioritize your teen’s character over grades. Don’t let your desire for your teen to succeed get in the way of your relationship with him. If your relationship is more about his academic performance than who he is—it’s a recipe for conflict. Teens who feel too much pressure to perform, or believe your expectations are unattainable, may simply stop trying. This is often where parents make their biggest mistakes. Don’t push too hard. Stop demanding good grades and focus on your relationship with your teen.

 

3. Teens need to learn about the responsibility of academics early. Middle school is a good time to start transitioning the responsibility of schoolwork and academics to teens. Slipping grades, incomplete assignments, poor exams, and missed deadlines are all red flags that your teen is struggling, and some of us tend to overreact. I urge you to resist the urge to swoop in and rescue your teen from failure. Instead, see these struggles as an opportunity to train your teen to take responsibly, and the sooner the better. I would rather have my teen flunk a class in 7th grade, instead of high school or college. I would rather have them take summer school in middle school and learn how to take responsibility for their academics while they are still at home.

 

4. Where there aren’t internal boundaries, there needs to be external boundaries. Teens may think they know it all, but they still need Mom and Dad to keep them on track, especially if they lack internal motivation and restraint. Parents should set reasonable expectations for academics and to create boundaries that protect your teen from falling too far behind. For example, parents may wish to restrict access to cell phones, video games, and screens until after homework is done. Make your boundaries clear, enforce them consistently, and encourage your teen. Training your teen takes time. Have patience!

 

5. It’s good to ask what your teen wants. What does your teen want academically? What is he interested in learning? Ask your teen about his goals and work together to set reasonable objectives. Does your teen want to take honors courses, AP classes, or play sports? Does he hope to get into college, work, or attend trade school? When you and your teen have talked over his goals, you will be in a better position to help your teen get where he wants to go. This may look like hiring a tutor, taking a summer training program, visiting colleges, or signing up for an online class in a preferred subject. If you have taken the time to understand what your teen wants, you’ll be able to better support your teen academically.

 

Conclusion
Hey moms and dads … grades are important, but not as important as you might think. What’s more important is your teen’s acceptance of responsibility for their academic performance. If you’re the one doing all the pushing and pulling to get them to do work, or to complete assignments, or to study their subjects, then you might just be the one who’s keeping them from becoming responsible. Your teen needs to learn how to be effective in their academics even when you’re not around. Let me ask you a question, which is more important––grades or your relationship with your teen? Of course the relationship is! When they’re 16 years old, let them know that they are responsible for their grades and will also be the recipient of any consequences for not completing their academic requirements. It’s hard to see your teen flunk a class. But it’s a lesson well learned because it’s much harder to see them flunk out of college.

Author: Mark Gregston

Mark Gregston began working with teens more than 40 years ago as a youth minister and Young Life director. He has authored nearly two dozen books, has written hundreds of articles, and is host of the nationally-acclaimed Parenting Today’s Teens podcast and radio broadcast.