“So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” 

2 Corinthians 4:18

Last August we left our home to go to our little airport in Longview, Texas, on our way to San José del Cabo. We reached the airport at 4:30 p.m. and pulled my truck up to the front door to unload our bags. It’s a tiny airport with only one gate to depart and arrive; and only two flights a day. I jumped out of my truck to help unload our bags and ran in to get us all checked in.

In the process of checking in, a couple of Jan’s bags were overweight. That was no surprise to me, as the way Jan packs her belongings looks more like we’re moving to Mexico than just visiting for a week. It took us twenty minutes to get it all straightened out, making sure we were within weight limits. The flight was already boarding, so we hurried through security, got on the plane, and flew to Dallas to await our next flight.

The next leg of our trip was delayed for four hours because of weather so we ate dinner, walked around a bit, and sat and waited to board the plane for our retreat to Mexico. As we finally got on the plane at midnight, now eight hours after we arrived at the Longview airport, I remembered something. The minute I stepped on the plane, I looked at Jan and said, “I left the truck running out in front of the airport in Longview.” I never went back outside and parked it! I couldn’t believe it.

What is the moral of my story? Many times, in pursuit of what we think is important (of great significance), we forget about that which is most valuable (of considerable importance and great worth).

Let me clarify that what is important is usually focused on the here and now, and what is valuable has to do with that which will retain future value. I want to direct this to grandparents who have less time on this earth, and must take in consideration that time is “shorter” for them, that those that are younger.

Call it the tyranny of the urgent or exchanging what is valuable for that which is urgent. Important things may be easier or screaming to be handled quickly. The reality is that many important matters take away opportunities for some pretty valuable intentions.

What is the most valuable thing you can do for a grandchild? Invest your time. Invest your money. Invest your heart. That’s what it will cost you. It’s a big price, but the rewards for your involvement will return to you a hundred-fold in the way your family views you now and how they will remember you later.

Here’s what I think is valuable in the lives of your grandchildren and worthy of your provision:

A Listening Ear

A young lady made a hurtful comment to me last week. She got in trouble for being disrespectful to some of our Heartlight staff. I merely said, “Want to hear some advice to get out of this mess?” I thought she would say, “Sure!” or “Yes, please tell me what I need to do.” or “I would love to hear what you have to say.” Those weren’t her comments. She said, “Why would I listen to you? You don’t even know who I am!”

She was teaching me once again a lesson I’ve heard many, many times before. You can’t just listen for the sake of listening. Listening includes a heartfelt desire to get to know the person you’re listening to or they will smell a rat a mile away.

They want someone to listen to them. And they want to be heard by someone who has an interest in them. You can be that person. That’s more than important. It’s more than valuable. That’s invaluable.

Access to Wise Counsel

Sometimes grandkids need to vent to let out their frustrations. They must vent to someone who will keep private their stupid comments and absurd accusations. They know they’re being ridiculous. They’re just mad, and they want to get that anger out. You can be a safe place where they can let off some of their steam, without scolding or making fun of what they say.

Give them time to speak what is on their hearts or stuck in their heads, and they’ll either come to some resolution or ask you a question to help them get to one. When you have been this funnel of frustration a number of times, you’ll begin to win the right to be heard in the deeper, harder issues your grandchild will eventually bring to the table. I call those decision-discussions where they genuinely want to know what you think so they can come to a decision about something on their hearts.

The grandparent with the listening ear can move a grandchild to a deeper level where they know there is always available understanding, compassionate listening, and healthy processing of their emotional turmoil. That’s more than important or valuable. It’s absolutely invaluable.

Affirmation of Who They Are

You don’t have to have an eloquent array of words. Assure them they continue to be a blessing to your family, as they were the day they came into this world. Help them remember those who love them, rely on them, and with whom they have some very special and exceptional relationships. Make your teen grandkids feel valued. This is more than valuable—it’s invaluable.

Transitioning from Theoretical Truth to Practical Application

One of the most valuable roles a grandparent plays in the lives of their grandchildren is helping them take the theoretical truths they have learned through their formative years and apply them in practical ways. This can be one of the most challenging, but rewarding, aspects of grandparenting. When they participate in this awakening, Grandma and Grandpa get to have an amazing impact on the hearts of their grandkids.

Here’s an example. Most grandkids have heard Romans 8:28, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” They’ve heard it a million times, right? In one sense, it is theoretical truth for them until there comes a time for practical application.

That happens with a loss or a quick turn of events that changes the direction of a family. It might be a disaster, a catastrophe, or a hard-to-understand act of violence. In these situations, grandchildren need the wisdom of their grandparents to help them understand and comprehend what that particular scripture really means.

This transition of truth to an application isn’t just accepted. It is transferred. It’s something valuable that can only be done by a select few in a family. It’s helping them balance what they know to be true with the way they feel. That’s even more than valuable—it’s invaluable.

Help with the Puzzle of Life

Ever put together one of those thousand-piece puzzles you spread out over a table, and all gather around doing their part? It’s funny to me that these usually take place at family events. The process pretty much reflects God’s piecing together of His masterpiece through all the family members putting together their conglomeration of jagged parts.

Everyone usually selects a part of the puzzle and begins their work. They search and try to make the pieces fit, just like in life. I don’t know about you, but usually, during this table activity, I hear the following comments from my grandkids:

“This piece doesn’t fit.” 

“There are some pieces missing.” 

“I don’t get how this is going to look.” 

“These just don’t go together.” 

“I’m getting worn out.” 

“This is taking so much time.” 

Wise grandparents keep grandkids and all on course by responding with the following:

“This is how it fits together.”

“Take your time; there’s no hurry.”

“Let’s look at the bigger picture.”

“Each piece is important.”

“The dark pieces are just as needed as the brighter pieces.”

“Keep going. It’s coming together.”

Throughout the process, wise grandparents explain how it takes all colors to bring about the majesty of this masterpiece (just like life). How it takes time to get things right (just like life). How the dark pieces make the brighter pieces come to life (just like life). See my point? Helping grandkids put together a jigsaw puzzle is a lot like helping them put together the pieces of their lives. When you help them see and understand the similarities, that’s invaluable.

Wise grandparents sacrifice the important things of today for the more valuable stuff of the future. That’s what they do best. Oh, and about my truck? Yes, it ran for eight hours at the airport that night. The door was partway open and the radio playing. Fortunately for me, my focus on the important didn’t cost me what was more valuable. Putting your focus on your awesome grandkids? That’s invaluable.