Parents who are dealing with an out of control teenager tell me that they just don’t know what to do anymore. They’ve tried everything they can think of, but things keep getting worse, not better. When they ask for my advice, we start looking at the situation from a wider angle to set the stage for working with the teenager. So, I tell them something like this…
If you believe God is in control of all things, then your situation is not hopeless. And, we can help you get through it. But a first step is to look to see if God may be calling you to do something different in your own life. This isn’t to say that you’ve caused the current problem, but what you do and don’t do now can be a catalyst for it continuing, or getting to the other side of it.
Another way to say it, is that doing something different can involve stopping and starting…
STOP LECTURING…START LISTENING
STOP ANSWERING…START ASKING
STOP WORRYING…START PRAYING
STOP FROWNING…START LAUGHING
STOP CONTROLLING…START RELEASING
STOP REACTING…START RESPONDING
STOP PUNISHING…START DISCIPLINING
STOP RULING…START ENFORCING
STOP TEACHING…START TRUSTING
STOP ENDING…START BEGINNING
STOP TALKING…START HEARING
STOP DECIDING…START EMPOWERING
STOP DOING…START BEING
Here at Heartlight we help people make positive stops and starts in their life — for both parents and teenagers. We’re here to help you if you are at a crossroads.
By the way, I’ve written articles in my blog over the last year on every “stop” and “start” subject I’ve listed. You can read them all at www.markgregston.com.
Mark Gregston
When having conflict and struggle with your teen, it’s easy to feel as if the entire family is falling apart. I’ve found that a better view of handling conflict is to see it as an opportunity to pull your family together, like never before!