Why Teens Seek the Wrong Crowd

Does your teenager feel valued and significant in your home?  If not, they’ll look for value and acceptance somewhere else.  There are plenty of people who can make them feel valued, but mostly from the wrong crowd and with the wrong motives.

We parents do a ton of stuff for our kids, but what if they still don’t feel valued?  Should we do even more, or less?  Are we doing the right things, or all the wrong things?  How can we best instill value in our teenagers?  And why is that so important? Continue reading “Why Teens Seek the Wrong Crowd”

To Tell the Truth

“A lying tongue hates those it hurts, and a flattering mouth works ruin.” -­ Proverbs 26:28 

There seems to be an avalanche of dishonesty across all sectors of our society today.  And when kids see dishonesty as a strategy to get ahead — as is the focus of most reality TV shows, or as a way to gain power — as it is in the political realm, it’s natural for them to emulate that. Sadly, it’s hard to find an unimpeachably honest public figure or champion of honesty today.

Kids lie for the same reasons that adults lie…to lift themselves up, to get ahead, to destroy their competition, or to protect themselves and avoid consequences.  When they spend hours daily making up puffed-up stories about themselves on the Internet, or using cruel dishonesty to tear down their enemies or competition, the lines between the virtual world and the real world begin to fade.  Kids being dishonest in a fantasy world are likely to bring that over to the real world as well. Continue reading “To Tell the Truth”

Super Hero or Not?

None of us can see our own errors; deliver me, LORD, from (my) hidden faults! -­ Psalms 19:12 

Being a super hero works out pretty well in the movies or comic books, but when it comes to parenting, rescuing your teenager every time can lead to problems. It can spoil their ability to see the world as it truly is, and it can cause uncaring, self-centered and entitled thinking in your teenager now and throughout their lifetime.

Parents are wired to protect their children. It’s natural and it is needed in the early childhood years, but some parents continue protecting their offspring far longer than they should. Beginning in the teen years, kids need to begin feeling the impact of their own actions and to be given more responsibility for their own survival.

Counter to what some people might think, I find that the most irresponsible teens come from the most responsible parents. I call them “Super Parents.” They are so fixated on fixing problems that they fix all of their teenager’s mistakes as well. They don their cape and fly off to badger a teacher who has given their teenager a bad grade. They run faster than a steaming locomotive and bend steel bars to get their errant teen out of jail. And in everyday terms; they pick up their teen’s room, manage his money, pay his speeding tickets, wash his cloths and rush him to school when he oversleeps in the morning. Continue reading “Super Hero or Not?”