Natural Consequences Teach Self-Control

If you wonder why teenagers behave irresponsibly, well, it’s because they are irresponsible. And, they will not become responsible or mature, or wise, until they engage in the process of dealing with the consequences of their choices. It is a cycle that may need to happen over and over before a teen comes to full maturity.

But sometimes the consequences employed by parents have no impact on their teen whatsoever, because they are simply meant to punish their child instead of teaching them a new way of thinking.  The better approach is to allow a natural or “logical” consequence to happen. That way, the teen understands the relationship between the behavior and the result.  And instead of building up anger toward their parent for inflicting punishment, they’ll get angry at themselves for being so stupid.  It may be a little more drastic approach than you’ve been willing to take up until now, but it will have a more lasting effect. Continue reading “Natural Consequences Teach Self-Control”

Dealing With Disrespect In Your Teenager

Disrespect is one of the biggest problems I see in families today.  While it can start with light jabs, if not checked, it can grow and evolve into all out punches.  It can become the way the child relates to parents and family, and it can even be passed from generation to generation. Parents who fail to correct disrespect out of fear that correction will hurt their relationship may actually bring harm to all of the relationships in their child’s future.

As any parent of a 13-year old knows, disrespect can be displayed by the roll of their eyes, an arrogant attitude, a sideways look, a turned back, cutting or barbed comments, sarcasm, pouting, or raging. And nowadays, it can include popping in the iPod ear buds, texting on the cell phone or playing the video game instead listening to a parent.  Disrespect can even include how the child treats your personal belongings; demonstrated by purposeful damage to your home or car, taking things without asking, or invading your privacy. These are all signs of disrespect. Continue reading “Dealing With Disrespect In Your Teenager”

Teaching Teenagers Personal Boundaries

momTeenagers live in a culture where boundaries seem to be non-existent. So, teaching them about your own personal boundaries will help them think about developing their own boundaries and how to respect other people’s personal space, time and belongings.

When I mention boundaries, don’t confuse it with household rules. Boundaries have more to do with what we all need to build around ourselves to guard from being walked all over by others who are less considerate. Boundaries are enforced by rules, but they are different from your household rules, because they have to do with protecting who we are as individuals and what we choose to put up with as we interact with others. Continue reading “Teaching Teenagers Personal Boundaries”