Teenagers live in a culture where boundaries seem to be non-existent. So, teaching them about your own personal boundaries will help them think about developing their own boundaries and how to respect other people’s personal space, time and belongings.
When I mention boundaries, don’t confuse it with household rules. Boundaries have more to do with what we all need to build around ourselves to guard from being walked all over by others who are less considerate. Boundaries are enforced by rules, but they are different from your household rules, because they have to do with protecting who we are as individuals and what we choose to put up with as we interact with others. Continue reading “Teaching Teenagers Personal Boundaries”
Does your teenager feel valued and significant in your home? If not, they’ll look for value and acceptance somewhere else. There are plenty of people who can make them feel valued, but mostly from the wrong crowd and with the wrong motives.
We parents do a ton of stuff for our kids, but what if they still don’t feel valued? Should we do even more, or less? Are we doing the right things, or all the wrong things? How can we best instill value in our teenagers? And why is that so important? Continue reading “Why Teens Seek the Wrong Crowd”
When a teenager doesn’t have boundaries, he does what seems right in his own eyes.
Contrary to what most moms and dads think, teens really do want rules. Rules help keep them headed in the right direction and prevent them from ending up in a place that they don’t want to be. When coupled with consequences, they help the teen more easily resist temptation and the inappropriate scheming of their peers. Having a good reason to say “No” comes as a relief to a teen raised to know basic moral values. Deep down, teens understand this, no matter how much they push against the rules, bend them, break them, and balk at them.
To be effective, rules need to be based on the boundaries you establish in your home, which are even more important and foundational for a child to learn. Boundaries aren’t the rules; they are the fence posts placed around behavior. They are the delineation of how a family’s beliefs are to be lived out; the “I will” and “I will not” statements that are the basis of our daily living and interaction with others. They help everyone in the family take responsibility for their own behavior, improve their choices, and know if they are headed into dangerous territory. Continue reading “Boundaries for Teenagers”