Many adopted kids seem to have more than their fair share of issues when they reach the adolescent years. Some can suddenly turn on the very people who rescued them years before, the family who adopted them. Why is that?
Here’s why . . . just as self-awareness begins to grow in the early teen years, adopted children can begin to struggle with the who and why of their adoption at this time — even kids who were adopted at birth. Feelings of abandonment by their birth mother can burst to the surface and add to an already emotionally charged adolescence, fueled by a search for meaning, belonging, and validity in their life.
Many adopted children question their true identity during the teen years. For the mortified adoptive parents, their teenager may demonstrate a profound and shocking lack of appreciation and even a temporary hatred of them. So, the obvious question from these parents is, “What have we done wrong?” My answer to them in most cases is that they have done nothing wrong. Continue reading “When Adopted Children Become Teenagers”
More than 80% of youth who have completed a chemical dependency treatment program are unable to maintain sobriety after returning to their home, school, and old peer group. (Source: SAMSHA)
There’s nothing more gut-wrenching for a parent than to deal with their teenager’s drug addiction. It’s like a slow death, not just for the teen, but for the the entire family. And it won’t get better without treatment and ongoing support, sometimes spanning the addict’s entire life. That’s why it’s far better for parents to test for and catch substance abuse early, before it gets a foothold.
Sadly, more than a million teenagers are admitted every year to drug or alcohol abuse treatment programs. These adolescents come through a 30-, 60-, or 90-day treatment program, only to find it impossible to maintain their sobriety, because their peers and influences back home haven’t changed. Without ongoing help, they return to drinking or drugs most of the time. Continue reading “Teen Recovery from Substance Abuse”
None of us can see our own errors; deliver me, LORD, from (my) hidden faults! –Psalms 19:12
Has your teen figured out that he can live without a care in the world for the problems his irresponsible behavior creates, or the stress it puts on you as a parent? Do you spend all your time worrying about him or trying to figure out how to get him to behave differently?
Whenever I see a teen who is irresponsible, and happy to be so, I know his parents are the ones who are quite miserable. The more they try to take control and change their teen’s poor choices, the worse the behavior becomes. It’s what I call “the spin cycle,” a downward spiral in teen behavior that often results in a their life spinning totally out of control or ending in dire consequences. And the whole family spins out of control, too. Continue reading “Dealing With Difficult Teens”
Tough Guys and Drama Queens
For almost 40 years, we’ve been passionate about guiding kids and parents through the turbulent teenage years. Tough Guys and Drama Queens has been a huge part of that mission, and we’re thrilled to be able to offer it now, to you, as a free online course!
This two-week course will give you a look into why traditional parenting techniques aren’t as effective as they used to be, the pressures they face in today’s culture, and how to build a stronger relationship with your teen throughout the tricky experiences they’ll have during these years.