I recently looked at some old photos of myself and was shocked to realize that I was wearing the same shirts today that I wore 20 years ago. I was so used to wearing them that I never took time to notice the nicer, newer shirts left for me in my closet as a gracious hint from my wife. I have the same problem with my shirts that many parents have with their old parenting techniques. There is nothing wrong with their tactics for kids in their younger years, but they are just a little outdated for teenagers.
If your son or daughter is responding negatively to some of your well-intended discipline, and your attempts to rein in their behavior is not working, don’t automatically assume that what you’re doing is all wrong. It’s just that your teen is changing at such an alarming rate that some of the established ways of doing things are no longer giving you the positive results they once were. Continue reading “Letting Go of the Rope”
It’s back to school time — the time of year I begin to hear concerns from parents of young girls who’ve just entered middle school. They send their princess off to school with her crown neatly polished and her entourage intact. But rarely do two princesses happily exist in the same place at the same time, much less hundreds converging on a first day at middle school. So, battle lines are drawn.
“You’re fired!” are two words we never expect to hear. That kind of feedback conveys a message to the ears of the one receiving it that says; “You’re no longer worthy. You’re a failure. We don’t need you anymore. You didn’t do well. You didn’t make “the mark.” You are a loser. You are wrong. You can’t do anything right. We’re better off without you.”