A sensible person learns by being corrected. –Proverbs 19:25b
If I asked, “Does your teen seem sensible?” Most parents would look at me cross-eyed, or ask me if I’ve lost my mind. Of course my teen isn’t sensible! Teens are wired for chaos and they spread it everywhere they go, including your home.
Our job as parents is to help our teenagers become sensible, as well as responsible and mature. The best way to help our teen move in that direction is to allow consequences to teach them when they make bad choices.
Teenagers won’t learn just from parental warnings. Most of us have tried that without much success. And unfortunately, one or both parents all too often cave in. We step in to lessen the consequences when Johnny or Julie gets in trouble. Each time we do so, a valuable lesson isn’t learned and a mistake is apt to be repeated. Continue reading “Ending Family Chaos – Consequences”
Most of us work for companies that have a policy manual. We follow the policies, since they are a requirement of enjoying the financial benefits and privileges of employment. From that we know what to expect, how to act, and how not to act if we want to keep our jobs. Likewise, the rules within your family Belief System will help each family member know what is expected of them, how to act, where the lines are drawn between right and wrong behavior, and the consequences for stepping over the line. Continue reading “Ending Family Chaos – Rules”
Last week I wrote about the first step in developing a Belief System for Discipline for your home — to identify your basic beliefs. The next important step to avoid family chaos is to evaluate your personal Boundaries and how they relate to your beliefs. Boundaries define you. They are the fence posts placed around your behavior, or the delineation of how your beliefs are to be lived out . They are the “I will” and “I will not” statements that are the basis of your daily living and interaction with others. When they are defined, they help everyone in the family take responsibility for their own behavior, make their own choices, and know if they are headed into dangerous territory. Continue reading “Ending Family Chaos – Boundaries”