Today’s world is crazier than ever, and it’s impossible to predict what tomorrow will bring. In the midst of chaos and uncertainty, most moms and dads need to make adjustments in order to meet the challenges of the day. How can you give your teen an extra measure of love, support, and sanity during these crazy times? In this article, I’ll share my lessons-learned and what your teen needs right now.
Your Listening Ear
Most teens just want to be heard and understood. So, one of the best ways to take inventory of your family’s situation, and determine what changes are needed to improve your relationship, is to listen to your teen. Listening communicates value, love, and a sense of belonging. Don’t forget, moms and dads, you are the most significant people in your teen’s life. But, if you don’t listen to your teens, they will go outside of your home in search of someone who will. So, listen up!
A Bit of Grace in Unusual Times
Even in the best of times, the teen years are turbulent. But these are unprecedented times and most teens have had their lives upended. Disruptions to their normal routine can lead to frustration, confusion, even depression. So, give your teen, and yourself, some grace in this challenging season. Your teen won’t always act in a way you approve of, but everyone needs a break once in a while. Offer grace, in the same way God gives you grace, when you mess up.
Time to Themselves
Whether you’re stuck in the same house with your teen because of a pandemic or just summer vacation, your teen needs space! And you might need some too. Many parents feel obligated to keep their teens busy at all times. But it’s okay to have time alone for thinking, listening to music, resting, or just doing nothing at all. It might just be the refreshment your teen needs.
Time with You Individually
Even though you’re living together, you still need to make time to focus on your teen individually. Plan something fun, learn a new skill, or watch a movie. These intentional times, one-on-one with your teen, will build a closeness that won’t come just by living at the same address! Try playing a new game, working on a puzzle, or cooking together. Whatever it is, time with your teen will create memories and much-needed opportunities to connect.
Time to Laugh with the Whole Family
When you feel the temperature rising in your home, ease the tension by laughing together. Create times to be silly, watch funny videos together, tell jokes, create a silly family skit, whatever it takes to lighten up. Don’t be so serious all the time. Lighter moments are an important part of family life and create the balance your teen needs to handle the serious side of life. I like to say, “If we don’t have the fun, the seriousness won’t come.”
To Be Asked Real, Thoughtful Questions
Show your teen that you value his opinion and input into the family by asking thoughtful questions! Don’t just talk about homework, sports, and events of the day. Go deeper with your teen by asking questions that let him express his mind and heart. Get your teen thinking and show him you are willing to talk about the difficult stuff.
Something to Look Forward To
Just like you, teens need something to look forward to! If everything at home feels monotonous, maybe it’s time to mix it up. Plan something different and fun, like a camping trip or an at-home spa day—whatever your teen gets excited about. Having something to look forward to is the essence of hope that things will get better.
Words of Encouragement
Your teen lives in a negative world and they desperately need to hear positive words from you. Your teen is watching how you deal with difficult times. So, be discerning about what you say in front of your teen. Stop complaining about your personal pet peeves. Trust me, your teens don’t want to hear your political stories and gripes. Instead, speak words of encouragement and hope, especially in this anxious time in their lives.
Conclusion
Hey moms and dads … believe it or not your teens need you in their lives and they want you desperately! But what they don’t know how to do, is create an environment of relationship, where a deeper connection can flourish. This is where they are relying on you to make it happen. You set the tone for your home. You determine the atmosphere. You set the mood. You make it a comfortable place where they want to be, or a place that they can’t wait to get away from. This doesn’t just happen. It’s built with a goal in mind and intent in your heart. So do this, ask your teens how you can make your home a place that they want to be, with you!
