Some teens drink and do drugs in an effort to fit in with the cool kids. But others do so for a far more alarming reason. In this article, I’ll talk about teens who use drugs, alcohol, and other destructive behaviors as a way to dull their painful emotions and how parents can help.
1. There is a Reason Teens Are Self-Medicating
The teen who self-medicates with drugs and alcohol does so because of they are reacting to something in their life. They want something to be different. This might be due to stress, pain, loss, unreachable expectations, anxiety, loneliness, or trauma. The desire to make a change isn’t necessarily wrong. They may have a good reason for wanting things to be different, yet they don’t know how to make the necessary changes in a healthy way. So how do you help a teen who is choosing unhealthy behaviors? The first step is to recognize that there is a reason why teens self-medicate. Ask yourself, “What is my child trying to escape from?”
2. The Underlying Issue Needs to be Dealt With
The drinking, drugs, pills, etc. are only a symptom of a deeper issue. You cannot solve your teen’s self-medicating problem by simply attempting to correct his behavior. If the deeper issue isn’t addressed, the behavior won’t change. Ignoring the root problem will cause it to pop up again and again in other ways or disguised as other behaviors. If appropriate, put boundaries and consequences in place to help your teen make better choices. But don’t ignore the underlying issues.
3. Your Teen Might Need Outside Help to Stop
A teen who is self-medicating with drugs and alcohol are trying to avoid dealing with a problem that is too big for them to handle. Well-meaning parents try to help, but some underlying issues might need help from an outside counselor or a residential program, and someone who has experience. The main thing is that parents should not sweep this problem under the rug. Help your teen address self-medicating by finding help for you teen. Don’t be afraid to talk about what you see your teen doing. If medical attention is needed for your child, get it immediately. Covering up his drug and alcohol use will only delay help. Listen to what your teen is saying and help him find the right counselor who may be able to give your teen a new perspective.
4. Teens Still Desperately Need Love and Relationship With Their Parents
Troubled teens often attempt to push parents away or react in such a way that parents are reluctant to open up an uncomfortable conversation. Many parents tell me that whenever they try to talk about their teen’s self-medication, their teen shuts down. It should come as no surprise that teen don’t want their parents to know what they are really doing. But this is not the time to back away. Instead, you need to lean into the relationship and find ways to reach your teen and show your unconditional love. They need you now more than ever.
Practical Ways to Help
Parents can help. Don’t minimize or make excuses for the problem that your teen has. Instead, spend time with your teen to deepen the relationship. The best way to get to the heart of the issue is through relationship. Look for ways to connect with your teen outside of your normal routine. Doing activities together can be the key to making a breakthrough in your relationship. So be willing to change up where you go and what you do together—it may offer another outlet from the stress, pain, depression, or whatever your teen is trying to escape from. Whatever you do, keep asking questions and genuinely seek to find out what’s going on in their life that would cause them to self-medicate. Remember that every teen is different, and every situation is unique.
Conclusion
Hey moms and dads … teens self-medicate for a reason. And while it’s important to set boundaries and develop rules about substance abuse and determine consequences for that use, it’s equally imperative and essential to determine the reason for the use. Whether it’s to fit in, to match issues in their life, manage a medical issue, deal with losses and hurts, connect with others, or just to no longer want to feel the way they do—there’s a motive behind their actions. So do what you have to do to get to the core issue and find the motivation for their behavior. They really do want help and I guarantee they would like to discover other ways to get out of the hole they find themselves in. Set up boundaries, have those tough discussions, and let your teen know of your never-ending love for them.
